How Do I Know If My Relationship is Toxic?

Toxic Relationship

Most people are in a toxic relationship without even realizing it. So, if you are asking, how do I know if my relationship is toxic? There are perceptible signs to watch out for. Toxic relationship can also be described as an abusive relationship. If your partner’s character or attitude towards you changes overnight without warning, then there may be a problem.
When you are in a toxic relationship, your partner may be humiliating and controlling you. Some persons may choose to remain in a toxic relationship, hoping their partner would turn a new leaf. You man chose to stay in an abusive relationship for fear of being lonely when you leave.

What is a Toxic Relationship?

There are always clear warning signs during the earlier part of a toxic relationship. However, you may chose to overlook these signs or you may not even have the slightest clue as to what a toxic relationship entails and how you should address it. Irrespective of how much you love and adore your partner, there are some telltale signs of toxicity in a relationship that you ought not to disregard all for the sake of love.
This article discusses:
  • How do I know if my relationship is toxic? Signs of toxic relationship to watch out for
  • How to fix a toxic relationship

How Do I Know if My Relationship is Toxic?

  1. Always blaming you for issues
If your partner is always mounting the blame on you whenever there are issues, no matter how trivial, then this may just be an early sign of a toxic relationship. An abusive partner never apportions any blame to himself or herself.
  1. Always projecting negative vibes towards you
Are you always feeling uncomfortable, anxious, or uneasy around your partner? Then it clearly points to the fact that your relationship cannot last. You being troubled is simply a reaction to the negative vibes or energy they are displaying, howbeit silently. Negative vibes drains you emotionally.
  1. They are passively aggressive 
Being passively aggressive also answers the question, how do I know if my relationship is toxic? It is okay to display some form of passive aggression at times, particularly when you don’t feel like talking about a particular issue. However, it’s not okay if your partner is always passively aggressive. This is a sign of a toxic relationship. If your partner is always hostile towards you but refuses to discuss the problem, then you may have a serious issue.
READ ALSO: 8 Signs to Know Your Relationship is Over
  1. Jealousy
If you are asking, how do I know if my relationship is toxic, then jealousy is a revealing factor. Displaying a little jealousy now and then is considered healthy in every relationship. It’s normal to want to exhibit some form of territoriality over what is yours. However, when you get excessively jealous up to the extent of verbally or physically attacking your partner just by merely sighting him or her chatting with the opposite gender, then it becomes abnormal.
  1. Always dwelling on past glories
In a toxic relationship, you partner is always angrily reminding you of nice times you spent in the past, and never talking about how you can improve the present and future together. They may have been in love with you in the past, but not anymore.
  1. You never do anything right
A toxic partner can never commend you for anything you do, no matter how perfect. They may still try to puncture holes and find the most infinitesimal flaw to hold on to and render your work useless. They criticize you for almost everything, making you to lose self-confidence.
  1. Blatantly avoids you
If your partner always ignores or avoids you whenever there are issues, then it is also a form of toxicity. An early sign of a toxic relationship is your partner always avoiding every chance of being with you. He or she rather enjoys the company of friends and relations.
  1. Always arguing 
One of the ways on how to know if your relationship is toxic is when your partner is always arguing with you. Argument is a normal occurrence in every relationship. However, it becomes abnormal when your partner is always shouting you down at the slightest provocation without apology.
  1. You’re not happy
You may be in a toxic relationship if you and your partner don’t spend quality time together to chat, laugh, and just basically enjoy the company of each other. Maybe that used to be the case at the start of your relationship, but you just discover that your countenance is always low and you are not happy.
READ ALSO: 7 Solutions That Can Save A Relationship
  1. They don’t care about your feelings
One of the ways on how to know if you are in a toxic relationship is if your partner throws caution to the wind when handling your feelings. If your partner doesn’t care about your feelings at any point in time, but is always concerned about their happiness, then you may be in a toxic relationship. Always making efforts to please your partner without them appreciating you is tantamount to toxicity in a relationship.

How to Fix a Toxic Relationship

Most toxic relationships don’t start out toxic. They usually start out filled with so much fun and romance. The toxicity usually creeps in gradually, until it overwhelms you, leaving you with so much unhappiness and depression.  It may be impossible for you to fix a toxic relationship, but you can at least make an attempt. There are a some things you must put in place in order to improve or fix a toxic relationship.
1. Communication
When the two partners willingly come together to have a heart-to-heart communication about the issues hovering round their relationship and how to resolve it, then it is the first step to fixing a toxic relationship. However, this can be possible when both partners, and not just one, are willing to make it work out.
Hold several sessions of discussions and involve friends & relations to contribute. However, if all of these efforts still prove abortive, then it means you may be unable to fix a toxic relationship. You can discuss with your partner about seeking the advice of a counselor to see if it would help.
2. The choice of walking away
The choice to remain or walk away from a toxic relationship solely depends on you. Try picturing yourself leaving the toxic relationship and check if you find fulfilment and joy from just that thought. There’s no doubt you’ll be heartbroken to leave a relationship, no matter how toxic, but at least you’ll be better off than continually living in misery and depression.
It is important for you to first envisage yourself leaving a toxic partner as it would make your mind fully accept it before taking the action, so that you won’t be extremely depressed.  Imagining yourself taking a walk from a toxic relationship will help to silent the voices in your head that fuel your fear of loss.
3. Clearing Boundaries
You need precision of your situation so you can be able to establish clear borders in your mind. Some persons suffering in a toxic relationship form the habit of avoiding fights and trying to maintain the peace. Well, you need to clear out all those boundaries in order to quit a toxic relationship.
To have clear boundaries doesn’t mean you have to be challenging. It simply means standing your ground and being clear on what you consider acceptable. You don’t allow a toxic partner to always lay the blame on you. You should speak out and tell them they are responsible for any action whatsoever.  You shouldn’t be responsible for his actions.
4. Reality
Though you may have been in this relationship years and you are still reconsidering taking a walk. But being realistic isn’t about which partner is wrong or right all along. It’s about being truthful to yourself and figuring if the relationship can work or not. You should be cleared on things you have been ignoring all those times when a toxic partner has been taking you for granted.
The most vital piece of the conundrum in fixing a toxic relationship is getting cleared on things you are answerable for, and what behavior is acceptable.

Wrapping Up

Your partner should be able to compliment you and bring out the best in you. A toxic partner turns you into their personal slave, everything you do, including foods you eat and what you wear is just all about them. They don’t give any jot of consideration to you. Willingness to walk away from a toxic relationship that can’t be fixed virtually means you breaking the cycle of sacrificing your happiness for another just to maintain a peace that isn’t appreciated.
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels


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